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Monday, March 15, 2010

Spring break




Well well well...
Spring break is here!
Might as well buy my plane ticket down to mexico to get FUUUUCKKEED UPPPPPPP in my bikini, because we all know how hott my new six pack is... gotta have been from all the sex and awesomely effective working out i've been doing....

BULLLL- first of all, mexico is not for me. I prefer to leave the things i eat in my stomach after sipping tapwater.
Second of all- I dont wanna get "FUUUCCCCKEED UPPPP" because we all know that the fat kids in college get fat for one or both of the following: 1 dorm/cheap college food or 2 beer/booze. I already have a big enough issue with my big fat ass that I don't need to add eight 200 calorie bottles of fermented wheat juice to my list of things i've eaten today.
Third of all, i recently invested in a ONE PIECE swim suite... does that clear the mystery for anyone? I have been working out like a fiend for no results.... let me just say that again NO RESULTS. none. Still a fat ass. So, nothanks i do not want to get up on a stage, wiggle my flub around for everyone to see while some perv pours water all over some white herpes-covered shirt they gave me to me. Nope.




ps. fuck ALL of you skinny people. I hope you feel my pain one day

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