Friday, December 31, 2010


what exactly do you do when you find out that someone has been a total and complete phoney? Isn't it funny how we, as people, are social beings. There have been studies that show how the human race requires social interaction for proper bodily development. In fact, infants have been shown to develop mental retardation if deprived of said social interaction.

It seems that we cannot live without our social lives.

So, why do people have to be such assholes?


Perfect example: about an hour ago, I received some very interesting information amounting to these simple facts:
(sidenote: you should really know that I have a hard time making friends.... on account of my absurd amount of awkwardness, immense lack of trust in humankind, and dislike toward assholes. This results in my VERY strong belief that friends are treasures to cherish)
1) I had a dear friend who moved away
2) I trusted, loved, and supported said friend
3) she, like anyone else, struggled with many personal life problems

Okay so up to this point everything seems pretty normal- so just wait a tick

4) Since she moved away, she has picked up a deranged and sick cocaine habit
5) She now lives a lifestyle that I cannot condone, and requests that people "do not judge"




on top of it all:
6) apparently the entire duration of our "beloved" frienship was spent (on her part) either high or insanely cross-faded.



So, to wrap things up:

I never knew my dear friend because she was high all of the time.

We must have social interaction-but since people are idiots-we must suffer through the phoney interaction that we call "friendship"

Sunday, December 26, 2010



Thursday, June 10, 2010


so here i am in florida, a wonderful land of humidity, sunshine, and mold.

my friend, ashley, and I have come here for the past two summers to visit her lovely mother, susan, in tampa. As I stepped off the airplane here in tampa, i imagined scenes of wonderful white sand beaches, sunglasses, and delicious seafood. what i got was quite different to say the least.

I'd like to indulge in a little tangent to speak about one subject:

airplanes- what I now call germ boxes. You sit in a metal flying box (which is terrifyingly defiant of mother nature) with two hundred other people... SOMEONE's gotta have some terrible cold or something... then they suck up the air, "filter" it... which is basically passing it through a coffee filter, and shoot it right back out at your face germs and all.

So after arriving at tampa, sunbathing... sunburning, and visiting a friend of susan's i promptly defy gravity and CAPSIZE their BRAND NEW JET SKI...


Then... later that night when all the commotion was over and everyone had decided that this little incident was a hillarious thing of the past, i start getting a sore throat.

double fuck.

This little annoyance may seem insignificant but let me tell you, if I get a sore throat i will MOST CERTAINLY get sick...

None the less I prayed and hoped that it was just a little silly thing that would pass.


The next day I woke up with a raging sore throat, a migrane, plugged nose, and body aches. I have not gotten sick in the past YEAR... now!? on VACATION!?

To save the very best for last... my 21st birthday fell on this vacation... and I was sick.

WHAT did I do to deserve this?!!?!!?!?!?!

Miss susan and ashley were understanding (thank god) of my freak cold and were very nice to me, even took me to buy a shit ton of cold medicine.

Tomorrow we board another two germ boxes to get home.... I'm recovering (thank God) and will get to go home to see my lovely boyfriend and family.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

so far

So here's the deal so far:

Junior year of college... 18 units, part time job, full time internship.

For the love of God can it get any crazier?!

Developing into a sheik designer has never been tougher... especially since I am ANYTHING but sheik.

Oh well

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Things of note

Things that may interest my dear little blog stalkers... or lack thereof.

Cosmo's Sex Position of the Day

Our dear little horny galz at Cosmo have put together a collection on tantalizingly twisted sex positions for our bedroom enjoyment. I assure you, it's worth a looksie... seriously. Trust me.
We all know that time after time, when the day gets terribly boring we turn to the ol' world wide webfucker to amuse us. So what do we do? Surf GoogleScholar for educational articles? Eff no. Stumble upon allows users to select interests such as cooking or motorcylces, and at the click of a cute lil' button, you get to stumble across the whole web for new and interesting sites. Like it? Coolio- pull a pandora and click the thumbs up: Stumbleupon will save every page you say you like.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Spring break

Well well well...
Spring break is here!
Might as well buy my plane ticket down to mexico to get FUUUUCKKEED UPPPPPPP in my bikini, because we all know how hott my new six pack is... gotta have been from all the sex and awesomely effective working out i've been doing....

BULLLL- first of all, mexico is not for me. I prefer to leave the things i eat in my stomach after sipping tapwater.
Second of all- I dont wanna get "FUUUCCCCKEED UPPPP" because we all know that the fat kids in college get fat for one or both of the following: 1 dorm/cheap college food or 2 beer/booze. I already have a big enough issue with my big fat ass that I don't need to add eight 200 calorie bottles of fermented wheat juice to my list of things i've eaten today.
Third of all, i recently invested in a ONE PIECE swim suite... does that clear the mystery for anyone? I have been working out like a fiend for no results.... let me just say that again NO RESULTS. none. Still a fat ass. So, nothanks i do not want to get up on a stage, wiggle my flub around for everyone to see while some perv pours water all over some white herpes-covered shirt they gave me to me. Nope.

ps. fuck ALL of you skinny people. I hope you feel my pain one day

Thursday, December 24, 2009

What about Christmas!?


every time during this time of year, in between begging for an iPhone or some equally frivolous commercially promoted product, I briefly wonder: what would Jesus think about all of this thoughtless and purely materialistic gift giving/receiving on his birthday?
First off, his mother had to give birth in a barn which sucks enough on its own. Second of all: aren't birthdays about giving gifts and good wishes to THE BIRTHDAY PERSON? But instead, we give and expect gifts to and from eachother...
Jesus must feel pretty jipped...
But before I get my head bitten off- The three men DID give Jesus gifts upon their arrival and if we are REALLY stretching it, all people of the earth are supposedly supposed to be the children of God- and therefore some weird and imperfect versions of Jesus himself... whatever.
All I'm saying is that what happened to family and happiness? I don't know about you all- but in my house, Christmas consists of my mother running rampant in the house trying to keep it clean for the looming company, my father randomly snapping at one of my siblings or me, and an all around atmosphere of COMPLETE stress because gifts are fucking expensive and the economy sucks and we might not eat for the next month.
Christmas was so much more fun when we believed in Santa... which, by the way, has NOTHING to do with Jesus. Can anyone say "Stranger Danger"?